Beta #2

is 37!!!!!!  It doubled from 19 to 37 in 44 hours!! I go back on Monday for Beta #3.  In the nurse’s words who left me the great message, they “want to make sure that things continue to progress appropriately.”  Yippee!!!! I could hardly maintain my composure as I listened to the message.  I immediately called Eric and as soon as he answered the phone, I started saying over and over again “It doubled! It doubled! It doubled!”  What a great birthday present!  Now I have to remain sane until Monday when I hear the next count.  Until then, I am pregnant. 

2 lines in 09!!! I got ‘em!

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Today

Today I am pregnant.  Today I celebrated with my husband that we actually got ourselves pregnant.  No matter what happens tomorrow, today I am pregnant.  Today I have met a goal I have been reaching for for many years.  I have no reason to believe that my beta won’t double tomorrow.  And if it doesn’t I will be sad.  However, the first IUI worked, and today we celebrated that!!!  For many many months now I have been afraid that I would never say these words.  And here it is right in front of me.  I’m pregnant.

I’m still nervous about tomorrow.  I’m hoping we just had a late implanter, and that’s why the beta was low.  I POAS this morning and I have the newest pic.  Its a little bit darker when compared to the one 24 hours ago.  So we’ll know tomorrow.  Fingers crossed for doubling numbers!!!! 

 

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Beta #1

is 19 at 14 dpIUI.  I did the beta this afternoon and got the call a couple hours later.  I go back on Wednesday for Beta #2.  They said it was on the low end of where they like to see it, so we’re praying it doubles on Wednesday!  I wish it were higher today, it would definitely ease my mind some.  But I’ve heard of low betas resulting in healthy pregnancies and babies, so I’m hoping I’m one of them!  Please keep the good thoughts coming!!!!!!!

By the way, Wednesday is my birthday!  I hope I get a great birthday present on Wednesday!

I’ll leave you with this pic!  The strip on the top is my test from yesterday, the one on the bottom is a test from today.  It  definitely looks darker….

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I don’t know what to think…..

13dp IUI and all hell breaks loose!!!  I thought this would be easier.  My luteal phase is usually 12 days, and obviously we are beyond that at 13 days.  My temp is still high, higher than usual at 11-13dpo.  This morning I got a negative on a digital EPT, and then a faint positive on a cheap internet HCG test.  Please give me your thoughts!!!!!!  Which one should I believe???

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8dpIUI

….and trying not to go insane.  Its so incredibly hard to be hopeful.  It feels like everyone around me who knows about the IUI is really hopeful.  I guess I’m just worried about disappointment.  I think I really can’t believe that this might actually happen.  I don’t feel anything, either way.  I have no feelings that it worked or didn’t work.  My H says I’m not being positive enough.  I don’t know,  I’m just trying not to obsess about it.  4 more days and we should know for sure.

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4dp IUI

This 2ww is taking forever.  Ugh!  My LP is usually 12 days, so next Saturday, October 24 is the big day to see if this all worked.  I am not very hopeful that it worked, but there are times where I’m really positive that this is it.  I’m over it.  This sucks!  I bought a billion cheapie pregnancy tests so I could make sure I peed the trigger out, and 4 days after the trigger it was negative already. So I have a ton of tests now, but oh well!  Eric was making fun of me for buying so many, but they were like $7 for 20 of them.  Totally a good deal!  right??!!  So he looked at them and said “those things can’t be accurate”.  Well I’ve got news for you buddy, they’ve all been accurate so far.  BIG FAT NEGATIVES. 

2 lines in ’09.  I hope I get to see them!

Oh and my FF subscription ends in 10 days.  I would love to not renew it!

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Let’s talk about the IUI

So it was done yesterday morning.  The procedure itself was no big deal, in my opinion, more comfortable than a pap smear.  My RE didn’t do it because she is not there on Mondays, so one of the head RE’s at the clinic did it.  He was very nice and explained everything as he did it.  No big deal at all. 

So let’s get to the sperm.  Since that was my main concern going into this. The nurse comes in with the catheter and I verified the name on the sample was in fact my husband   And she prepped the catheter for the procedure.  I then asked her if she knew the count.  So she hands me a piece of paper with the mini semen analysis on it.  Total count prior to wash was 62 million, after wash was 28 million!!!!  WOO HOO!!!!!!  The last SA that was done in April was total count 33 million, so we almost doubled the count!  The motility and morph were both good also. Well that relieved my anxiety a little.  I was so happy with the increase that I almost cried.  You should have seen Eric’s face when they said the numbers!  He was shocked with how good they were.  So I am a little more hopeful about the IUI working, even if it doesn’t work this cycle. 

I had slight cramping all day yesterday.  I was worried that I would O before the IUI however I had only cramping on my right side yesterday, which is the side both eggs are on, so I think it was some cramping from the IUI and some O pains.  I hope!

So that’s it!  Now we wait!  2 eggs, 28 million sperm.  Hopefully it leads to a little heartbeat in the womb!

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Trying to stay positive

Its pretty hard to be optimistic.  At the RE’s office yesterday, she said some things that gave me doubt that the IUI will work.  She knows we are paying OOP and I’m hoping she said these things from a financial perspective.  She was worried about us spending a lot of money on IUI’s so she told us to watch our dollars and stop if the amount gets too high.  Because of course IVF has  much higher success rate than IUI, which I am aware of.  I asked her about our success rate with IUI, she said 10%.  10%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That sucks!!! IVF would have a 50-60% chance, which she also said.  I know of many people who have had to try IUI for 2 plus cycles to get pregnant, so I am expecting to try 3 cycles.  I think she is being cautious for us knowing that we shouldn’t try IUI for 5 or 6 cycles and them not work, and then be that much farther away financially for IVF.  I don’t know what to think:(

She did say that she would know more about our success rate on Monday once she sees the sperm.  So I’m really really really hoping we got lots of speedy swimmers! 

I guess I was pretty discouraged since earlier this year she thought the sperm count and quality was up to a point that she thought we could get pg on our own. I figured if we could get pg on our own, then of course the IUI with meds would give us an even higher chance, I really wasn’t expecting her to say that IVF would still be our best option. 

I’m just kind of discouraged today.  We plan on trying IUI for 3 cycles, if that doesn’t work then we’ll probably review some finances and research insurance and see what we can do to try IVF.  I’m worried about the economy and us not being able to get financed for IVF.  I’m worried because Eric is approaching 40 and he doesn’t want to have children well into his 40s (though I think it would fine).  I think it would take us awhile to save for IVF and he would be over 40 and who knows…. 

I know I am way over-thinking this.  I know I’m thinking way too far into the future without even knowing how Monday will go yet.  I know that its all out of my control.  At this point there is nothing I can do to MAKE it work.  I’ve prayed and I’ve been prayed for.  I’m just scared that I will never be a mother.

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Follie report

So I had my date with the dildo cam this morning.  2 mature follies on the right (one at 17, one at 19) and only little tiny ones on the left.  My lining was at 11, which is good.  So we are triggering tonight and the IUI is scheduled for Monday morning.

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Menopur

Today is CD9, and I was at the RE’s office for the Menopur injection.  The nurse showed me how to mix it and inject it, though she did the work herself.  I asked if this cycle doesn’t work, could I just inject myself next cycle at home and she said I could.  I am scheduled for the ultrasound this Saturday and we’ll see how the follies are doing.  As of now it looks like the IUI will be Tuesday Oct 13 or Wednesday Oct 14, of course we’ll find out for sure on Saturday.  I hope we have some beautiful follies!!

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